178 posts Challenge accepted.
  • Elite Author: Sold more than $75,000 on Envato Market
  • Has sold $75,000+ on Envato Market and is now an Elite Author
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  • Has been part of the Envato Community for over 6 years
+5 more
bloooming says
  1. Write this into the comments:
    'this doesn't work, I want my money back!'
    

  2. Send an email every ten minutes asking questions which are already answered in the documentation

  3. Don’t read either the item description nor the documentation,
    and then start biching in the comments, because the file doesn’t work like you ASSUMED .

  4. Treat the author like he works for you.
    After he answered every question and helped you with every task you asked,
    force him to do additional customization for you.
    If he says no -> request your money back.

  5. Don’t ever let kindness slip into your demands.

  6. Send an email with this content:
    Login details: admin/admin
    Attachments: pic1.jpg pic2.jpg pic3.jpg website-content.doc
    
    I need the website till friday!!!
    

  7. Write a novel about the things that you don’t like about the item,
    and suggestions what you would have done different,
    and then ask the author how to accomplish them.

  8. Always download the items illegally.
    Purchase them only if the author caches you (and he will) or refuses to give support.

  9. If there is a tiny thing that displeases you – start trolling in the comments immediately.

  10. Write ASAP or URGENT !!! in big letters at the end of every comment.

All characters that appear in this story are fictional, any resemblance with real persons is a coincidence :bigwink::bigwink:

327 posts just a random dude...
  • Has referred 1+ members
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+6 more
trendyWebStar says

  1. Write this into the comments:

    ‘this doesn’t work, I want my money back!’

  2. Send an email every ten minutes asking questions, that are already answered in the documentation

  3. Don’t read either the item description nor the documentation,
    and then start biching in the comments, because the file doesn’t work like you ASSUMED .

  4. Treat the author like he works for you.
    After he answered every question and helped you with every task you asked,
    force him to do additional customization for you.
    If he says no -> request your money back.

  5. Don’t ever let kindness slip into your demands.

  6. Send an email with this content:
    Login details: admin/admin
    Attachments: pic1.jpg pic2.jpg pic3.jpg website-content.doc
    
    I need the website till friday!!!
    

  7. Write a novel about the things that you don’t like about the item,
    and suggestions what you would have done different,
    and then ask the author how to accomplish them.

  8. Always download the items illegally.
    Purchase them only if the author caches you (and he will) or refuses to give support.

  9. If there is a tiny thing that displeases you – start trolling in the comments immediately.

  10. Write ASAP or URGENT !!! in big letters at the end of every comment.

All characters that appear in this story are fictional, any resemblance with real persons is a coincidence :bigwink::bigwink:
“I need the website till friday!!!” hahaha true story :D
272 posts The Dominant One
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  • Elite Author: Sold more than $75,000 on Envato Market
+5 more
wptitans says

lol nice one :D ..

1012 posts
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wizylabs says

I have experienced 7 out of your 10 points :D

1799 posts
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BroOf says

Yes, there is a lot of truth in your post :D

1055 posts Best-dressed man at PressNomics 2013
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+10 more
Parallelus says

Hahaha! I love it.

Some of my personal favorites:

Treat the author like he works for you. After he answered every question and helped you with every task you asked, force him to do additional customization for you.
If he says no -> request your money back.

That’s a winning approach for anything in life :)


Login details: admin/admin
Attachments: pic1.jpg pic2.jpg pic3.jpg website-content.doc

I need the website till friday!!!

If only it didn’t happen almost every day.

Always download the items illegally. Purchase them only if the author caches you (and he will) or refuses to give support.

Already dealt with one of these this morning. A user’s “brother” bought the theme for him. He was pissed when I kindly asked if his brother could contact me to give permission to provide support to his account which had no purchases and was created in the last 2 days :)

Write ASAP or URGENT !!! in big letters at the end of every comment.

If it’s important you want it to make sure it gets NOTICED ! and IMMEDIATELY !!!

Thanks for a good laugh, it’s a nice way to start off the day.

2580 posts Put a Donk On It
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+10 more
ThemeProvince says

Add: Bombard the author with 40 comments in a three day period. I’ve experienced this :D

303 posts
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ThemeGoods says

Write ASAP or URGENT !!! in big letters at the end of every comment.

LOL I thought I am the only one who feel this way when I saw something like this in email message :D

2064 posts
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  • Located in United States
Landonw says


Write ASAP or URGENT !!! in big letters at the end of every comment.
LOL I thought I am the only one who feel this way when I saw something like this in email message :D

You’re not, I see this all too often – I guess they don’t consider you may have a life and reply from bottom up, not from “urgent” down.

2293 posts Bird is the word..
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+8 more
jonathan01 says

Don’t forget the infamous “I’ll rate you 1 star if you don’t help me again the 55th time”... :)

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