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urbazon
says


Two tomatoes are crossing the road. One gets hit by a car, and the other says to him: “Come on! Catch up!” :D
Lol, I don’t believe it, I knew that joke since as a child. But I only knew it in German and there isn’t any funny double meaning (just ketchup). Like this I really rediscovered it :D

Haha :) I’m glad I’ve brought this epiphany to you ;)

I hear/read jokes all the time, but most of the times the old jokes are the best. Dunno why…

Anyway, just for the record: me telling jokes here is not my run for the t-shirt :) I just thought I should tell a joke. Laughing is healthy, so share laughter and smiles whenever you can ;)

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ZoomIt
says

A new day in the jungle and the king, the Lion decides it’s time for a joke battle. He elects 2 competitors – the Bunny and the Fox and puts one rule – all the jungle must laugh at the joke or the competitor will be decapitated.

The Bunny hops on the stage, starts saying a really good joke. All the crowd and the Lion starts laughing at the awesome joke, except the Bear. The Lion turns to the Bunny saying to him:

“Bunny, you said a really good joke. I laughed my pants off, but unfortunately the rule is that EVERYBODY must laugh”.

After a few seconds, the Bunny gets decapited without any last words.

The Fox hops on stage. She clears her voice, starting to tell the joke when sudently she’s interrupted by a loud deep laugh from the Bear saying:

“Hahahaha, what an insanely good joke that Bunny said. “

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parenz
Envato team
says

A pretzel walked down the street….he was assalted!

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ToivoMedia
says

If an Emperor runs an Empire, and a King runs a Kingdom, who runs a Country?

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matsteiner
Envato team
says

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your truck back, you get your dog back, you get your girl back and life is good :D

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ToivoMedia
says

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your truck back, you get your dog back, you get your girl back and life is good :D

So a blues song backwards would be your baby came back to you, and you went to sleep this morning?

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matsteiner
Envato team
says


What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your truck back, you get your dog back, you get your girl back and life is good :D
So a blues song backwards would be your baby came back to you, and you went to sleep this morning?
lol, right, that’s what I’m doing now :D
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glutenfree4u
says

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a softsurface like grass or a path.”

“Gentlemen, remember—you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information. After a few moments a man, name unknown, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” said the Instructor. “I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”

Brings a tear to your eye doesn’t it?

This kind of sensitivity just can’t be taught.

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glutenfree4u
says

What happens when you play a country song backwards?

You get your truck back, you get your dog back, you get your girl back and life is good :D

XD

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glutenfree4u
says

Read in a german accent (Hope that isn’t offensive to anyone, sorry if it is.)

Zere were two peanuts valking down ze street, and vone vas assaulted… peanut.

EDIT: This joke isn’t an entry, just wanted to post it as well :)

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