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TNL3542 says

i dont have much that i could sell on ebay.. yeah i got a touch screen printer.. that i use on a daily basis.. and a 1 laptop.. both of which i dont wan to get rid of

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VisualSharing says

Hi and thank you for sharing.

First, I’d like to say I have had many such problems.

What most people are being taught by modern psychology is to try and get out of the depression as quickly as possible, think only positively, try to get rid of all negative thoughts. While sometimes helpful, this approach can be very stressful.

If we look at the experiences we are having, we can discover that they are all products of our mind. So we need to take care of them, because they are our own creation. It is like a mother, handling a baby. If the baby starts crying, the mother doesn’t try to silence it or force it to smile at all cost. She just embraces it and that is already enough for the child to feel better. She also remembers that although the baby is her creation, she does not own it, it is not her possession. Similarly, your fear, anger, depression, are not your “own”, they are just experiences that you need to take care of. The more you are trying to silence and ignore them, the louder they become – just like little children. Enjoy your depression, roll over in it, celebrate it. Look yourself in the mirror and say “Wow, that’s quite the awesome depression, so deep”. Let yourself laugh and smile at it.

I would suggest that you try some traditional vipassana meditation, because it is aimed at recognizing the problems, instead of running away from them. I would like to give you this video, because I myself am a buddhist practitioner, but these instructions can be (and are) practiced by anyone, no matter whether they are following a specific religion, teaching, or none at all. It is a traditional and ancient approach, and as it says in the video: without any spiritual mumbo-jumbo. Yet, the teacher that is giving the instructions is a monk in the Theravada school of buddhism, which is 2500 years old. Feel free to search for other types of meditation instructions.

Another type of traditional meditation (mostly spread) is samatha, it is aimed just at relaxing your gross level of mind, it doesn’t teach you how to look at the problems.

By practicing traditional meditation, you will be able to have a much clean, clear mind, without it being obscured with all kinds of bold thoughts, feelings and emotions. And being calm and concentrated, you can think of thousands of things that you love to do. Just follow your inspiration. Your physical mind is designed to remember and notice, not to create ideas, so don’t force yourself too much. Let your intuition guide you.

When you experience fear, it’s just fear, not “your” fear. Don’t attribute to yourself things you don’t own and don’t actually want. Remember, none of your problems have power over you, unless you give it to them. During meditation, a lot of negative thoughts and feelings may come, but that’s because you have been suppressing them for so long. “No, I’m not supposed to feel angry. No, I’m not supposed to feel sad.” Who says so? You are a free person and you are supposed to have the right to experience everything that you experience. Let them go and see how powerless they are, if you decide just to watch them: “oh look, fear”, “oh look, anger”, “oh look, an awful and scary image”, “oh look, a feeling of guilt that I feel fear, instead of joy”. Look at the experience itself, not at its content that your imagination exaggerates. It’s like 3D television inside your mind. For free, no tickets needed. It can not hurt you. Just like you are sitting on the bank of a river, watching its furious waters.

I would like to share that two weeks ago I had no projects to work on, being a freelancer. I got to the point of starvation, but I remembered that all situations, you create yourself – to teach you something. Many negative thoughts and fears came, but I just embraced them, let them come and go, and focused on whatever work made me joyful, started doing some new projects and searching for projects in different places. For two weeks I made $1,500. So be aware of the problems, but know that they are just there to teach you something and they will go when you are ready. Don’t be afraid to share sincerely that you are having a very difficult time and ask for (financial) help, you might be surprised how responsive some people might turn out, even “distant” friends.

For the record, I myself am not practicing in the Theravada tradition anymore, but in the Mahayana. My practice is Tonglen – inhaling all beings’ dark sufferings, dissolving it and exhaling light and giving them all my good qualities. Whenever I feel depressed, I practice it (please note that it requires instructions from a teacher). It’s not worth feeling bad about it. Acting on your joy is the only thing you can do.

Don’t be afraid of suffering – it cannot hurt you unless you react to it and label it as bad or wrong. It is neutral.

That’s all just to help you take care of your mind – because it experiences everything, yet we give it so little care and love. All the happiness is inside you, we are constantly being distracted by believing it’s out there. The more you search it externally, the more frustrated you become, because out there there is emptiness that waits for us to give it meaning and our joy. More and more people are awakening to this fact. Yes, I know you think “all happiness is outside, but I need external food and shelter”. I also thought that and even got a bit angry over meditation teachers. That is correct – we do need things to support our physical bodies, and our mind can help us very much, if we nourish it and let it express itself.

Don’t put yourself in a mental prison, you are a free being – its doors are always open. Walk. Be free. Enjoy. Be like a child. Be here, now. Forgive yourself. You are being reborn each second, the electrons in your physical cells are moving at the speed of light, your mental experiences are coming and going rapidly. Yet, your real nature is calmness. Feel it. You are a new, balanced person each moment, use that infinitely powerful freshness. The past is already gone and the future is not yet there.

Please, feel free to disregard all this if you think it doesn’t suit you.

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survivor says

@cmt very interesting, thx for share.

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Blunny says

@cmt, thank you ever so much for sharing that.

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Generator says

Oh, so very true.

“Remember, none of your problems have power over you, unless you give it to them.”

Well put cmt.

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VisualSharing says

“Remember, none of your problems have power over you, unless you give it to them.”
Well put cmt.

I would like to say that this expression, as well as some others that I wrote, are quotes by teachers, as I am just a simple being with a bad practice routine. :) No names are cited, as I am not aiming at promoting anything. To each their own.

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hogash says

TJ could you please contact me through my profile’s contact form? I’d like to exchange a few words buddy.

Best,

Marius

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TNL3542 says

email sent

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Kurlykovs says

Don’t think about the stuff you use. think about junk. like okay lets say i actually live of of that right now. lets say my wife got a used ninja turtle plush toy for 99c put it on ebay sold the same day for 18.95$ + the person payed shipping. i got a Puzzle for 3.99 at a local thrift store sold it for 25$. just sell everything and anything just not what you use or need :).

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