Thanks again for the constructive feedback on my rejected submission. I have spent a lot of time trying to take into account what’s been said and improving my design.http://graphicriver.net/forums/thread/new-item-rejected-im-baffled-opinions-please-/51607
Any comments and feedback on whether you think this may now meet the requirements would be highly appreciated.
This is of course just one sample of a number of different configurations as in the original. Just a quick work in progress update to see whether I’m going in the right direction.http://www.lemon-digital.com/temp/ribbon-type.jpg
Here are the improvements I have undertaken:
1) balanced distribution between top and bottom half. Top half is now slightly higher to accommodate for bigger presentation of the product, offer, slogan, whatever the user wants to put there. Bottom half now more neatly and tightly holds the content.
2) I’ve reworked all margins of the text elements to make sure everything is aligned correctly and with purpose.
3) added extra highlights and depth throughout the design. Extra highlights around the strokes. Soft light enhancement in the text area. Darkened the white area somewhat to be able to play more with different shades of white and grey.
4) refined the strokes and lines, notably the separation between blue and white area and the surrounding box
5) enhanced the “signup today” button/ribbon by adding highlights, more depth, more gradients, extra shadows. Also added in the two punch out holes which it now feeds into. This also gives more “raison d’etre” to the lifted corners of the main shape as it gives the impression of being tightly wound and pulling them up.
5) changed out all fonts, now a combination of Franklin and Lobster. One for the punchy and straight, the other for the ornamental and decorative. Let me know if you think this is a good combination, I thought it flows nicely.
6) enhanced the top ribbon with highlights, soft lights. Rework the gradients undersides. Made it Around the corner more neatly and more tightly. Moved it up and made it smaller so it doesn’t intrude so much in the main shape. Also worked the drop shadow a little so it seems a little more rounded and organic
7) gave a whole new look to the contents of the sunburst section with the 3-D letters, which I set apart with soft shadows and soft highlights plus a little glow to give it more light and presence.
I will of course prepare all the other versions in the same style. I will also add in alternatives for the main sunburst area such as product images, presentational screens, software packaging etc to make it more versatile (even though the initial idea was for it to be textbased, and thinking it may be more useful if I had more alternatives)
In any case I hope you like this and see it as an improvement
Thanks again for looking at this
It’s definitely getting there, I really like the improvements you have made. It’s great you took the time to work on the feedback you were given and not throwing your tools down, well done
I do still have a couple of criticisms, only small though.
1. Work on the ribbon holes. I think the shadow is slightly too intense in comparison to the rest of the box.
2. Consider including a software box as well, currently having the title text gives a heck of a lot of text to look at.
3. The bottom of the box doesn’t seem too crisp – it’s a little soft and blurry, maybe consider tidying this up a little. Work on the shadow you’ve included, see if that helps.
You’re getting there
Many thanks for this second wave off feedback!
1) i was having doubts about those holes, I even had a version with hardly any shadow at all, just the highlights which looked cool, but of course wasn’t fully punched trhough – I will definitely apply this
2) Software box, presentational screens, product images, download box – all this items are on my “before re-submitting” list. I mentioned it in my last paragraph but you probably didn’t get that far with all my blabber, lol
3) hmm, maybe I need to make the shadow less blurry. I do like the shape to have this thick soft edge, so I guess the shadow needs the work.
1) Yup, you caught on the same point as q&e, these are on my list. First are cinema and DVD screens as I chose the movie theme, then other stuff like software boxes. I want to buyer to be able to just drop in whatever they may need this for, so I will provide a range of samples.
2) As I write this I’m playing around with other font mixes … I may offer 2 or 3 different proposals in the final file.
Nono, definitely not giving up! I do this for fun! (ok, the rejection was less fun, hehe ;))
I do actually have a day job So I enjoy this and enjoy learning and working through the feedback I’m getting. Thanks very much for taking to time to go into details!
Okay, here’s another hole range of changes including everything that was mentioned in this thread, the previous thread, and much more:http://www.lemon-digital.com/temp/web-box.jpg
(this is just one of a series of samples)
I think I will now apply this to all other shapes and configurations of the web box and resubmit.
It’s not the item I had initially planned, pretty much every aspect of it has changed, but it all changed for the better thanks to the feedback from all of you. So thanks very much for that!