Overall needs alot of work. Look at the approved design and analyze them on how they are done. Your current design needs work on the font, color and the overall execution. Best of luck.
You have 5 different fonts on the layouts. The “DREAMLAND” logo is not in the right place, you should feel that is out of balance. The white boxes are not really works here as a creative solution. Seems like you “have to” use it “against” the background. But even the text in the boxes are not in the right position. Check the gaps. There is a lot of discursive elements which looks like their came from different places and styles. They have no harmony with each other. Sometimes the disharmony could works very well. But 1st you have to know the rules before you break them.
the top of what everybody says, I have a feeling that the background is simply an exaggerated Chrome filter or something of the sort. That is much to simple to get accepted here that GraphicRiver. You need to put a little thought into what you’re doing and why. Simply playing around with filters is just not enough.
Keep working at it and it’ll get better