...A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says: What is this, a joke?
Interviewer: Just imagine, you are in 8th floor,It caught fire, How will you escape?
Santa: Its very simple, I will stop my imagination..!!
This is an old one, but still gives me a good chuckle
Skeleton walks into a bar, orders a beer and a mop.
Two bandits decide to rob a bank at night. They have planned it carefully so that they will have no trouble entering. On the night of the robbery, not a single alarm goes off. When they enter the bank they come across a room filled with vaults. One of the bandits manages to open one of the vaults, only to discover there is nothing inside except a small bowl of yoghurt. The two bandits open up all the vaults, one by one, and each vault only contains a small bowl of yoghurt. “We have been cheated! Let’s eat all the yoghurt to get back at them!” The two bandits eat all the yoghurt and leave with their bellies full. The next day all the papers have the same headline: “Unexplained robbery at spermbank.”
A man walks into a travel agents. Man: “I would like to go somewhere really special.” Travel agent: “We have just the thing: an all-inclusive holiday in Cyprus, flying from Moscow.” Man: “Nah, there have been so many plane crashes, I really wouldn’t feel safe.” Travel agent: “OK, I can offer you a cruise around the Greek islands then?” Man: “But there have been so many cruise-liner incidents …” Travel agent: “In that case, I can offer you a coach tour of Europe?” Man: “But the road accidents – they are worst of all!” Travel agent: “Oh, I think I have just the ticket – a walking tour, but I must warn you: it has sexual overtones.” Man: “That sounds perfect!” Travel agent: “Go f * * * yourself.”
Two planets meet. The first asks: “So, how are you?” The second answers: “Well, I’m sick, I’ve got Homo Sapiens.” The first replies: “Oh, I know that one. No worries, it’ll pass.”
I met this guy yesterday.
He told me he managed to sell decently without all those boasted features that have no use which users love, even if they never use them.
I am still laughing.
I would say look up Carlos Mencia on Youtube and search for the female orgasm.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDI5mIdsj-w&list=PL027EA12D9C1CB843
You will crap your pants.