127 posts
  • Elite Author
  • Sold between 100 000 and 250 000 dollars
  • Has been a member for 4-5 years
  • Bought between 10 and 49 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Norway
Veuse says

Not really a joke, but this riverdance-sketch is hillarious:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx8dH1s9J_E

I never get tired of watching this guy. :-D

1613 posts
  • Forum Superstar
  • Author had a Free File of the Month
  • Sold between 1 000 and 5 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 1-2 years
  • Bought between 100 and 499 items
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Contributed a Blog Post
  • Contributed a Tutorial to a Tuts+ Site
+6 more
SamBerson says

Not really a joke, but this riverdance-sketch is hillarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx8dH1s9J_E I never get tired of watching this guy. :-D

Watching it now..!

850 posts
  • Exclusive Author
  • Sold between 1 000 and 5 000 dollars
  • Referred between 10 and 49 users
  • Has been a member for 2-3 years
  • United States
MichalskiMusic says

Tragedy struck today at the annual leper hockey game when, before the action even started, there was a face off in the middle of the ice.

The owner has not yet been identified.

Sorry. Had to be done.

3650 posts Community Moderator
  • Has been a member for 5-6 years
  • Contributed a Tutorial to a Tuts+ Site
  • Netherlands
  • Community Moderator
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Sold between 10 000 and 50 000 dollars
  • Repeatedly Helped protect Envato Marketplaces against copyright violations
  • Exclusive Author
+4 more
Joost Volunteer moderator says

Just stumbled upon a legendary Stackoverflow post , and figured I’d share a few of the shorter ones :P

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, that’s a hardware problem

Q: How many Prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Yes.

Q: Why don’t jokes work in octal?
A: Because 7 10 11

Commandline russian roulette:
[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && echo rm -rf / || echo *Click*

EDIT: Added an extra ‘echo’ to prevent injury :P

725 posts
  • Author had a Free File of the Month
  • Grew a moustache for the Envato Movember competition
  • Sold between 10 000 and 50 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Beta Tester
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Bought between 50 and 99 items
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Has been a member for 1-2 years
+1 more
greenline says

The boos to his employee:
- You think you can come Saturday? I know it’s the weekend and maybe you have plans, but I really need you for this task.
- Sure, no problem, but I am afraid I may be late, Saturday the traffic is infernal…
- All right, when you think you can arrive?
- Monday!

39 posts
  • Bought between 1 and 9 items
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 1-2 years
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Sold between 100 and 1 000 dollars
DenishPatel says

biggest joke of the century : “computers and mobile were invented to save our time”

241 posts
  • Bought between 1 and 9 items
  • Sold between 5 000 and 10 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 2-3 years
  • Lithuania
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Contributed a Tutorial to a Tuts+ Site
rendertom says

- Doctor, can you help me please, I have a very low self esteem.
- Sure. No problem. What’s your name?
- My name is John, but you call me Pile of Crap.

241 posts
  • Bought between 1 and 9 items
  • Sold between 5 000 and 10 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 2-3 years
  • Lithuania
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Referred between 1 and 9 users
  • Contributed a Tutorial to a Tuts+ Site
rendertom says

Book commits a suicide each time you watch The Twilight Saga.

3 posts
  • Sold between 1 000 and 5 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Has been a member for 5-6 years
  • Microlancer Beta Tester
  • Bought between 1 and 9 items
  • United Kingdom
silver_pup says

Two cargo ships collided at sea. One was carrying a shipment of red paint, the other a shipment of blue paint.

All the sailors were marooned.

Thank you, I’ll get my coat.

1682 posts aspire to create - create to inspire
  • Elite Author
  • Author had a File in an Envato Bundle
  • Sold between 50 000 and 100 000 dollars
  • Exclusive Author
  • Bought between 50 and 99 items
  • Referred between 10 and 49 users
  • Germany
+1 more
Creattive says

A blonde woman goes into an electronic store.

She says: I would like to buy this TV.

The shop owner replies: Sorry, we are not selling anything to blondes.

The blonde girl is leaving the shop angry.

The next day, she comes back with a big hat on her head, covering her blonde hair. Again she says: I would like to buy this TV

The shop owner replies: Sorry, we are not selling to blondes.

She leaves the store again. The next day, she comes back, with her hair colored black.

“I would like to buy this TV”

“Sorry, we are not selling anything to blondes”

“How the hell do you know that I am blonde?”

“That’s a microwave”

by
by
by
by
by
by