Specifically with your project… it’s pretty minimal. And when something’s minimal, it means that every minimal element needs to be just perfect.
There is also something objectively wrong here. Your text is so close to the edge of the screen that it’s almost going off the edge. Thoroughly understand and observe the action-safe and title-safe zones… including what these mean in a non-overscanned internet age. Have a look at how print graphics are laid out. It can be really helpful to learn the rules of layout when things aren’t spinning about all over the place.
Apart from technical considerations, the layout is lacking from an aesthetic point of view too. And how about using some images in there as placeholders? If half of your screen is being taken up by an image placeholder, then you do yourself a big favour by putting a great looking image in there. Or how about something more interesting than “Placeholder X” in the text?
I guess the reason that this was rejected is a mixture of the above and the fact that it doesn’t bring anything new to the marketplace. There are already a multitude of better executed examples of this kind of thing on Videohive.
You know, a really good place to start is with style frames. Instead of launching directly in with After Effects, open up Photoshop and spend half a day designing the look of a new project. Create 5 or 10 graphical variations. In a long day, you can design three new projects… as stills. Find an appropriate piece of music for each project too (maybe even a selection of three possible tracks). Maybe write a script for what your text will say and search out some images too.
Then leave it for a week or two.
When you come back, you’ll see it with fresh eyes and you can decide which projects deserve pursuing, which ones need improvement etc. And you can set about adding the most awesome motion to your killer graphics.btw. Hardly a commercial job happens that doesn’t start with some kind of style frames.
Thats what I do